December 7, 2012 by Piece of Pie and a Dash of DIY
I worry. I worry a lot. I check my kids forehead 14 times throughout the day when I know there’s a virus going around, make them wash their hands before, during and after we go anywhere in public (don’t get me started on a play place or chuck e. cheese) and I’m the type to lay awake at night wondering if my kids are polite when I’m not around.
I’ve been a mom for seven years. Seven years of constantly thinking of someone else. Trying to feed their bodies nourishing food, ensuring they get plenty of rest, telling them everyday how much I love them, instilling values and helping them grow into gracious, caring people. Obviously my kids’ are my life. As they should be. But worrying is exhausting.
Along the way I realized that I’m not alone and maybe, just maybe I’m not crazy…I am a mom. There is no other explanation for such anxiety. I didn’t obsess about ANYTHING in comparison before I became a mom. I had confidence and time and money and a life. I did what I wanted, when I wanted and how I wanted. It was incredible!! If you are a mom, then you remember those times in your life too. I long for the days when I thought I was really worried about someone or some situation. Only becoming a mother can introduce a magnitude of worry you never knew existed.
As a mom, I feel as though my children and their behavior, intelligence and kindness are an evaluation of my parenting skills. AND EVERY mom has been judged by a fellow mom. At some point or another. It sucks!! Most moms feel pressure, from society and ourselves, to be perfect, do perfect, teach perfect, raise perfect, look perfect…the list goes on and on. Yet we all know perfection doesn’t exist in real life, no matter how hard we may try.
Truth is I’m just settling into this whole mom job, seven years and I learn something new every.single.day. Most days I feel like I don’t know a damn thing. And lots of days I want to throw my hands in the air, let my kids eat candy for dinner in front of the tv and have a glass of wine instead of helping with homework. But because I’m a mom, I keep going. EVERYDAY. Everday I try to do better than I did the day before, learn a lesson and log it into my infinite “I screwed up-again-catalog.”
Do your best. Listen. Have fun and be silly. Take a deep breath. Drink alcohol often. And if you’re a mom-to-be or new mom reading this, I want to offer you a bit of advice. Don’t always listen to advice. But most importantly ALWAYS, ALWAYS try to worry less. It’ll save you on hair color.
PS I love being a mom. It’s not always easy, in fact it is almost always hard. But I wouldn’t trade it for anything. My kids are my happiness.